COLUMN: Sharon Thomas — July 4, 2014

Sharon
Sharon Thomas
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Sharon Thomas

What is it with ex’s and their “clingy” behaviour? What I don’t understand is that they hang on to a person that doesn’t want them anymore. I don’t know about you readers, but I would totally walk away when a relationship ended, and I mean just that.

I ran a little poll on Facebook and you would not believe all the messages I received about jaded ex’s and the people that put up with them. To give you all an idea, I will insert a few excerpts (with their permission.)

 

“Sharon,

I don’t even know where to start. My ex and I broke up six years ago. We don’t have kids and she still bothers me. I even went to the cops cause my new girlfriend was getting scared. They told me I didn’t have a case cause she didn’t threaten my ‘physical being.’ (What) is that??? Help!!!”

 

“Hi Sharon

Thank you for asking all of us for our opinion about ex’s.mine has been bothering me for a long time, about two years now.i don’t know what to do. we work at the same company and he follows me around like a damn puppy! I even told my boss and he told me I should stop being so irrisistable? Why doesn’t anyone take this seriously?”

 

“Hey

Your post is so real! I think it’s about time someone talked about this issue. My ex-girlfriend has been bothering me and my fiancé for a year now. She had a great deal of issues, which is why I broke it off, that was two years ago and she is still bothering me! I haven’t talked to her since we broke up, we were never married, we didn’t have kids, there was nothing for us to be forever linked. I don’t understand why she still bothers me and sends me pictures of herself in my business email! I’ve changed my address three times! I went to the cops and they took a statement and told me to stop communicating with her! I don’t have any communication with her, they laughed me off like it was all my fault! Why do people get away with this s…?”

 

“Tansi,

I saw your post and I think it’s a good topic to talk about. The ex from my past won’t let go! He shows up everywhere. I don’t give a damn about his a.. anymore! He even asks my friends about what I’m doing! I don’t know what to do! Please message me back, should I go to the cops?”

 

“Sharon,

You and I have been friends for years, so you know my situation. Please use my story in your column if you get the chance. You can quote me word for word.”

‘It all started 10 years ago when I first met my former partner. It was a crazy time in my life, I was always working, I tried like hell to maintain friendships and relationships, but if it didn’t involve a schedule, I grew bored very easily. I was in a relationship with my ex off and on, Kerry, for seven years. I can remember when I met her, she was the last thing I was prepared for. We argued from the very beginning. She tried to control everything I did, I should have known better, but I didn’t. When we broke up for the last time, she showed up everywhere! I didn’t know what to think. At first I thought it was a coincidence, and then I realized, I was being followed. Now that my hindsight is 20/20, I know now, I was being stalked!

I never paid attention to her at first, I would just roll my eyes and move on to the thought of my next bowel movement, yes that’s what she reminded me of! This is how unimportant her presence was back then, and still is! I have tried like hell to have a new girlfriend, but she won’t leave them alone! It pisses me off! I have to admit that I’ve had my moments. I have grown so angry that I have allowed it to bring me to hatred. I have started a file with the RCMP, they have told me I need to allow her to ‘get closer’ before they can do anything. Really?’

 

All together, I received 27 messages in regards to this issue. I understand social media plays a part in the whole picture and it is easy to find people from your past, but why is it so common to harass an ex? More importantly, why is it so easily legal?

 

Sharon Thomas is a Saskatoon freelance writer. Her column appears every fourth Friday in rotation with Jessica Iron Joseph, Lori Q. McGavin and Kevin Joseph.

 

Organizations: RCMP

Geographic location: Saskatoon

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