Are you busy?

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A friend asked me the other day if I was “keeping busy”.  I nodded, yes, oh yes I’m keeping busy.  I couldn’t go into detail as we were talking window-to-window through cars in traffic … but then I thought about my response later.  A few of the changes I’ve made in life over the past couple years have drastically changed my version of “busy”.

I feel busy at work, but I feel constructive and accomplished, so it’s a kind of busy that means I’m getting work done, I’m implementing products and services, I’m finalizing tasks and finishing projects.  It’s a good kind of busy at work.  It’s an entirely different position that I’m in now, versus a year ago.  I get to see the products coming into the market, I get to have input on processes that may or not work properly in our unit, I get to be the first in line on some of the new things we do, and it’s everyday.  It’s never dull.

I feel busy at home, some people without children may feel busy, but it isn’t comparable with three children and a spouse kind of busy.  There is the family management part of being busy, and I enjoy it, so it’s not a chore.  The inventory of the cupboards, the scheduling of the events, the co-ordinating rides and activities, the planning and implementation of parties and gatherings, the financial ups and downs and balancing, the happy days and sad days and “tear your hair out” days.

I feel busy even by myself.  I know what I want to accomplish in the next several years, and I foresee a lot of work and planning going into those accomplishments.  I feel busy even when I stop thinking about work and home and go to crossfit for my future health.  I feel busy when I stop thinking about family and responsibilities and instead start perusing gardening catalogs to calm my mind.  I feel busy because there is just not enough time in one day to adequately satisfy all the activities that interest me.

I used to be busy.  I used to be busy trying to keep up with peers, comparing my belongings with others, measuring my childrens’ behaviours against theirs.  I used to be busy trying to live up to expectations, trying to own the biggest and the best, trying to cross some invisible line of satisfaction versus happiness. I used to be very busy doing a lot of things that didn’t give me any long term benefits.  That type of busy was exhausting, and in a way it was terrifying because I never quite knew what was coming next.

I will be busy in the future too.  I will be busy changing how I do things everyday to keep up with technologies that move at light speed.  I will be busy changing my habits at work when new processes come in, new products arrive, new people begin.  I will be busy with planning my personal future and my family, ensuring we have more good times together than bad.  I will be busy in the coming years with planting an acre or two of lilies and irises, co-ordinating colours and heights, and playing in the dirt to satisfy myself.  I will be busy adjusting to my children becoming families of their own.

So yes, I am busy and will stay that way.  I have far too much to do to worry about being too busy for something.

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