I had a personal event happen on Sunday that started me thinking about the immeasurable values of everyday moments, or the theory of relativity, as it is commonly called.
Strangely, my first thought in particular was to wonder how one would place a qualitative value on a moment such as enjoying a home cooked meal.
Would you describe the experience as fulfilling if you were to eat enough to satisfy your hunger or would you measure out each portion of ingredients and compare them to those people who have to do without? A jar of dried dill to add to a roast has no comparable value to a person who has to scavenge the ground daily for nuts and roots to feed their family with.
A sprig of cilantro to enhance the flavour of homemade salsa has no relative equal to a woman who is no longer able to eat solid foods because of illness. How we define value changes moment by moment. My values altered this weekend, and I had a long hard look at how I weigh out my moments.
My moment this evening watching two sisters share a good night hug became exponentially more valuable when weighed against the inevitability of a loss of a sister.
Valuable moments define us. The direction we take in each decision can create new moments or cause lost opportunities. An email to a relative sharing family updates becomes a keepsake when that person is no longer. A photo of a candid moment at a summer gathering becomes a memento, not just a jpeg.
The potential for valuable moments is there, waiting for us. We so often overlook these, and forget that they are also lost to us if not acted upon, and those lost moments are regretted. There are those that say that you never miss anything until it is gone, but I believe we also miss it while it is here.
I miss moments daily, the absence of which I have to weigh out against other tasks that might create future moments for me. What is a daily phone call to speak about nothing in particular when weighed against the inability to speak out loud. What is a fresh peach when weighed against the inability to swallow.
I am thankful that I acted upon several opportunities over the past year, because now I have many mementos and moments available to me to value and cherish. I would only wish now that the moments are not forgotten, that they are replayed and reminisced, that they remain now in that specific type of heartache that is only defined as grief.