Mystery Flu

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There is a serious flu or sickness going around that will force a lot of people to call in sick Feb. 28. It won’t affect you until Monday morning but it will hit you like one of Gordie Howe’s elbows. Every year in late February or in early March I become suddenly very ill. I tried to work through this flu a couple years ago but I was about as useful as Alexei Yashin after he signed with the Islanders. 

This year I planned ahead and decided to take the day off in advance. Fortunately for the people who come down with this mystery flu on this date there is a cure. The only cure is a good eight hours of James Duthie and the TSN crew on Feb. 28.

Of course I’m talking about the upcoming NHL trade deadline. One of my favorite days of the year and I’m going to give you the inside scoop on what an obsessed hockey fan (or very sick man) does on this special day.

First off, I wake up probably an hour earlier than I would usually on a normal work day.  I need at least an hour to prepare for what the day will entail. I usually bring a second TV in the room so I can watch both TSN and Sportsnet. I also put my old laptop back on life support so I have access to two computers. One computer is used specifically to follow the movement on Twitter (shameless plug: follow me on Twitter @ LLysitza and I will keep you updated on deadline day). The other computer is used to keep up with rumours on different message boards. 

I have three whiteboards filled with each team’s top prospects and my personal top 100 list of prospects for this summer’s upcoming draft. So when a trade happens I can quickly identify the worth of the return in trades. I also have list of all the player’s salaries and of course a calculator to figure out how each deal fits under the salary cap. These tools are also used to find precursors for other deals that may follow the present deals.

I always want to be the first to know when a big trade is about to happen. I can pretend to be Bob McKenzie for a day, if the kids from Jersey Shore can pretend to be relevant to society.

If you don’t think I’m crazy you just may be crazy yourself. Regardless, it’s really an exciting day to be a hockey fan. I should really send a letter to Prime Minister Harper about maybe making the trading deadline a national holiday. He is a big hockey fan and should understand my request.

Wherever you are on Monday enjoy the trading deadline and this special time of year. Hope all your teams will fill their shopping lists to prepare for a long Stanley Cup playoffs run. Sorry I have to cut this short, I’m starting to feel a fever and cold coming on.

 

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